Why we are not Happy

 Why Are We Not Happy?

Happiness is not the default human state; it is the exception. Evolution wired us for survival, not contentment. Anxiety, fear, and dissatisfaction propelled our ancestors to hunt, escape predators, and compete for resources. In 2025, the predators are gone, yet the ancient software still runs. Dopamine rewards anticipation and achievement, not sustained joy. Once a goal is reached—new job, new partner, new purchase—the hedonic treadmill resets. Within months, we return to our baseline.

Modern life amplifies this mismatch. Social media replaced village gossip with planetary comparison. Algorithms show us curated highs: vacations, bodies, careers. Studies (Twenge, 2019; Primack, 2021) consistently link higher social media use to lower life satisfaction, especially in adolescents. We judge our unfiltered lives against everyone’s highlight reel.

Consumer culture sells the myth that happiness lies in the next acquisition. Yet beyond basic needs (~$75,000 annual income in high-cost countries, Kahneman & Deaton, 2010), additional money adds little happiness. We overestimate how happy things will make us (affective forecasting error) and quickly adapt to them (hedonic adaptation).

We also live in an age of atomisation. Marriage rates are falling, religious affiliation is declining, and close friendships are rarer (US survey: percentage of adults with no close friends rose from 3% in 1990 to 12% in 2021). Strong social bonds are the single strongest predictor of wellbeing across cultures (Helliwell et al., World Happiness Report). When ties weaken, loneliness rises, and with it depression.

Finally, meaning has eroded. Traditional sources—religion, nation, family—carry less authority for many. Without a transcendent narrative, daily life can feel like an endless to-do list. Viktor Frankl observed that humans can endure almost any “how” if they have a “why.” Too many of us lack the why.

We are not unhappy because life is harder than before; objectively, it is easier. We are unhappy because our biology, technology, culture, and philosophy are misaligned with lasting happiness. The path out is not more pleasure, but deeper connection, clearer purpose, and deliberate attention to what actually matters.

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